Disappointed in California

I have to say I am extremely disappointed in the state of California that we would go backwards and once again begin discriminating against a group of people because they are different from us. I received this email today from my Aunt and I think more people should read it

"This is great. Picked it up off of a blog."
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""I would like to say as a 7th generation California I am disgusted with the voters of California who seem to think it is their right to determine the civil rights of others. To those of you who voted for this I ask you to put down your bibles for a minute and imagine how you would feel to have others tell you that you do not deserve the same rights as others. Yes, quit waiving your bible in my face (I know what it is and what it really says because I read it everyday!) and imagine how you would feel if you woke up one morning and you were told that you were not allowed to marry because someone else decided that their interpretation of God told them it was not valid. I am again going to say that I am completely disgusted by the people who have kidnapped my state and my faith and turned them both into something they were never intended to be. Yes, you with the bibles, I seriously doubt that Jesus is up in heaven dancing in the streets as you are down here. Instead I would imagine his head hung low and tears streaming down his face. His tears are for you and your horrible misinterpretation of his message of inclusiveness and love. Do you know what Jesus has to say about Gays and Lesbians? Nothing, that's right absolutely nothing. There is not one single word about marriage only being between a man and a woman or anything else pertaining to homosexuals attributed to Jesus in the New Testament. I have always had such a love for the state of my birth and so many generations of my family and now I too am crying for what has happened there and in other states of this country. Many of you are the same people who are out there patting yourselves on the back to be so unprejudiced as to elect the 1st African American President. But you are not so unprejudiced as to let 2 adult people get married just because they are different from you. Shame on you 52.5% of the voters. Shame on you for writing descrimination into the constitution.""

Life. . .

So as I lay in bed tonight I realize that life really is a journey! You cannot worry about the destination you have to just enjoy the ride! No one and nothing is ever what it seems good or bad. Life is not black and white it is many varying shades of gray and it is up to you and you alone to see what's important.
Remember to live each day to its fullest because you can never have today back.
Yes there are days when "life sucks" but you know what in the end it just makes you a stronger person.
Everything you experience good and bad makes you who you are! Learn from your mistakes and be the catalyst of your future.
The only people you need in your life are the people who prove they need you in theirs!

Contentment. . .

Its such a strange thing. Some days it seems completely attainable other days it seems completely out of reach. I guess you need to always remember to take things one day at a time because when it comes down to it that is all we KNOW we have.
In reality however the hardest thing for me is being single at 22(23 in 5 days). I had never imagined that being the way things would turn out. Not that I would change anything about the way my life has turned out this far. I have become a stronger person than I ever imagined I would be. But at the sametime when I watch my friends and their boyfriends or husbands I can't help but feel a twinge of jealously at what they have found.
I do realize that all in good time I will find the person I am meant to be with but for the time being I need to focus on school and the other important things in my life. Besides a healthy relationship is two whole people walking side by side not two half people becoming one.

Its hard to believe that no matter how much you may think you know someone the things they are capable of will still continue to shock you. Being a person that falls head over heels in love is an amazing thing however if you get involved with the wrong person it can be terribly detrimental to both parties involved.
I guess the best thing you can learn is no matter what your heart tells you always keep your eyes open. I have found that "love really is blind" so make sure you always take into account the feelings of those around you because nine times out of ten they will see things you are incapable of seeing.
Its important to remember never let yourself become jaded but at the same time always fall in love leading with your head.

The End Of An Era

Closure its such a strange thing. I recently saw the definite end to a relationship I would have been forever wondering "what if" about. As I sat in the airport and cried I realized that somethings just aren't meant to be. There are things in our life that will never be. And after so long apart people change and grow and its not always in the same direction.
And as much as you may wish for what you once had it is possible it will never be again.
As they say people come into your lives for a reason a season or a lifetime and now after much contemplation all I can say is thank you for being in my life for a reason you taught me how to love and allowed me a safe place to grow. I will always love you and I wish you nothing but the best.

Life

"The fate of your heart is your choice no one else gets a vote"

I found this quote a couple weeks ago and I have realized over the past month the truth to this statement and not just in correlation with everyone else. Sometimes just with yourself. There are times in life when you're head and you're heart will tell you two different things an it is at these times in your life when you must take the time to decide what the correct decision is. People always tell you to follow your heart but I am not going to lie your heart can decieve you! However at the same time you can't follow you're head because love isn't completely rational. So what do you do you may ask? Well you listen to your intuition as a woman this is very strong thing and if you're willing to listen it will always give the "correct" answer.
As we grow up we must realize that you are responsible for yourself and following your intution will allow you to live your life to the fullest potential. You can't worry about the opinions of others and as much as you should avoid causing others any pain you must ultimately be true to yourself because in the end that is the only way you can truly be proud of yourself and the person you become.

Relationships

In the past couple of days I have realized the true importance of close friends and family. No matter how you are feeling or acting they take the time to show you just how much you mean to them. And somehow you just know that regardless of what the future holds and what decisions may or may not be made they will stand by you.
Its comforting to always know that you are loved!

Decisions

As I lie in bed tonight I find myself wondering how we make decisions in our lives. How do we ever know what truly is the correct choice. Life is so uncertain and yet at times it feels so completely certain. But who's to say which decisions in our lives have led us to become the people we are today.
Currently my brother is struggling with the decision of Cal Poly vs. USC and I see him privately agonizing between the two feeling pulled strongly in both directions. And tonight as we both got ready for bed he asked me what I thought he should do. And of course being that I want the decision to be all his own I didn't exactly answer the question. I think honestly he doesn't have a bad choice but I just hope that whatever he decides he does it for himself.
Through his struggle I have learned that when facing a difficult decision you have to choose whatever is best for you, and you only. You can never be someone or do something for someone else. You must always remain true to yourself.
You must remain true to you regardless of what you win or lose. Stealing the cliche "shoot for the moon because even if you miss you'll land among the stars"
In the end you are the one who has to live with your decisions. So choose wisely and remember you never have to apologize for doing what's best for you!

Family Ties

My family truly is amazing! I am so lucky to have such amazing parents and a wonderful brother and sister. I can only hope that when I begin my own family my children feel the same way about me. And I feel so blessed to know that my children will be blessed with amazing grandparents. But as I said earlier I must not wish time away. So for the time being I am going to concentrate on my own amazing family.
In the past month as my brother decides upon the college where he will spend the next four years of his life my family has had the oppurtunity to go on two weekend vacations. And I have come to the amazing realization at just how amazing my parents and my entire family is.

Speech of a lifetime

While listening to Randy Pausch's final lecture (if you haven't heard it yet find it on you tube) I found myself mesmerized. This man is facing something I wouldn't even begin to know how to handle and he does so with amazing grace. However if I had to take only one thing away from his lecture it would be the advice he gave to his daughter. He said if he could give her one piece of advice it would be when you begin dating "Ignore everything he says only pay mind to what he does."
It seems so simple like something we all know. I mean for as long as I can remember I have always said actions speak louder than words but I don't think I have ever really taken those words to heart. However, from now on in all aspects of my life I am going to repeat that mantra to myself.
Because I think that applies everywhere. I know that I would have realized the problems in my last relationship much sooner if I had repeated that mantra to myself. Words are simply that and they are so easily twisted and manipulated. But actions they are much harder to fake.
If you want something or you want to do something don't talk about it, don't make excuses do something about it. Prove it! Go after what you want and make it happen.
Recently while reading books by my favorite author Nicholas Sparks I was in awe of the amazing surprise acts of love the characters in the book did for their significant others and I realized they were doing just what Randy Pausch said they were showing their love with actions.
Yes I know these people are characters in a book but you know what I've seen it in real life as well. Recently my best friends boyfriend did exactly the same thing for her on Valentines Day. He didn't give the usual flowers, chocolates and a card with a mushy I love you. He took it upon himself to show his love. He rented a hotel surprised her with dinner aboard the Sacramento Riverboat. And you know what through his actions he proved his love. And not for a moment did she doubt his love for her.
So in conclusion from this point forward I am focusing on what is done rather than what is said!

Growing Up...

As I sit in the gym of Cal Poly listening to the welcome from students and faculty encouraging the future students (my brother in particular) I come to the full realization of just how much I have experienced in the past four years of my life. I am sitting in this audience as a college graduate. I have already finished this part of my life I am Adult. I really don't think until this moment I have fully come to that realization. It is so true that whether you want to or not you become an adult.

One day at a time...

I have realized lately, that I have been living too much in the future. And all we really have is this very moment. I am trying to make a conscious effort lately to take life one day at a time because in reality that's all we can do anyways. There are so many amazing songs out there lately and I have to say music has really been my savior as of late. I find that it can really express my own thoughts and opinions even more clearly than I can. And I swear every country singer is just trying to make me break down into tears. It is so strange to me that things in your life can literally change in one instant. So I have come to the decision that from this moment forward I am going to attempt to cherish each and every moment of the day without wishing it away. Because as Trace Adkins so nicely states "you're gonna miss this," I mean I think back and realize that I am 22 years old. I have already experienced so many things in my life and yet it seems like just yesterday I was graduating from high school. Time really does fly and more than that, it seems to move faster every year.

Friendship

I've learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.- Unknown

Recently I almost lost my best friend. Things were changing in both of our lives and I lost sight of what was important in my life. Luckily the damage that was done to our relationship was reparable and together we were able to save our friendship. My best friend is the one person I trust most. She tells me straight up how she feels about things and I know right off the bat how she feels. We have been through alot together and I don't think that I could honestly say I would be the person I am today if she were not my best friend. I think too often people take friendships for granted and I have to say you really shouldn't. You should really cherish those who mean the most to you. Because in times of need they are the ones who will be by your side!

Boundaries

Over the past few years I have learned so much about myself as a person. It's been an amazing growing experience and I have come to the conclusion that now more than ever I really truly believe that everything happens for a reason.
Again thinking back on "Eat, Pray, Love," I have realized that much like the author Elizabeth Gilbert I tend to lose myself in those I love. And I have decided to make sure that I never allow this to happen again. I will from this point forward set boundaries within every relationship I enter into.
When you are a person who continuously gives to make others happy you have to also learn to take. Relationships are not a one way street, it must go both ways otherwise ultimately someone is going to end up unhappy.

Eat, Pray Love

So recently after going through a difficult breakup I finally found the strength to read the book "Eat, Pray Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert. My mother had been hounding me about the book for weeks because she said the main character had many personality traits that reminded her of me. Of course when she mentioned this I was not in a state of mind to want to see any of that. However, in the two weeks since moving back home I have found that this book is amazing. Any woman who hasn't read this book should go out and buy it immediately. It has something to teach everyone. I believe my favorite part of the book is when Richard from Texas explains his definition of soulmates:
A true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you
everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own
attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most
important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and
smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever. Nah. Too painful.
Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself
to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it
I found myself rereading this quote over and over in my head. It took me a really long time to wrap my brain around this definition. But ultimately it made sense. I can't believe how amazing this book really is!