Sunday, February 6, 2011

A Woman's World

As I was purusing blogs I follow, I came across this email on Kelly's blog @ Kelly's Avenue, it was too funny not to share!
In the world of romance, one single rule applies:
Make the woman happy.
Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects.
Sorry, that's the way the system is set up.

Here is a guide to the point system:

You make the bed. (+1)
You make the bed but forget the decorative pillow. (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets. (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants. (+5)
In the rain. (+8)
But return with Beer. (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night. (+1
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing. (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something. (+5)
You pummel it with rocks. (+10)
It's her pet. (-20)

You stay by her side the entire party. (0)
You stay with her a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy.(-2)
Named Tina. (-10)
Tina is a dancer. (-20)
Tina has silicone implants. (-80)

You take her out to dinner. (+2)
You have a coupon for the meal (-2)
You take her out to dinner, and it's not a sports bar. (+3)
Okay, it's a sports bar. (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night. (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team. (-10)

You take her to a movie. (+1)
You take her to a movie she likes. (+3)
You take her to a movie you hate. (+6)
You take her to a movie you like. (-2)
It's called 'Death Cop.' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans or animals (-15)

You develop a noticeable potbelly. (-15)
You have developed a noticeable potbelly & exercise regularly.(+10)
You have developed potbelly & start wearing baggy jeans and loose

Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter; You have one too."(-1000)

Give her chocolate (+10)
Give her money (+100)
Give her diamonds (+1000)
Give her fake diamonds (-1000)
Give her Victoria Secret Panties or a padded bra (-2000)

She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Answer "Yes", you lose points no matter what]

You hesitate in responding. (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response. (-20)

When she wants to talk about a problem: You listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression.(0)
You listen and tell her how to fix the problem (-50)
You listen, for over 30 minutes. (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV.(+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep. (-1000)

Good luck, guys!

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